Inquisitive Adventures

“My dear little wild one, I never meant for you to live in others’ expectations.”

I had this thought drift into my mind one morning as I was getting ready for work, and it has stayed in the back of my mind ever since. As we walked the paths of the metro park, surrounded by nature, I felt it returning to me. The quiet of our surroundings brought it back.

I am not going to determine whether it was God speaking. I realize it was most likely just thought noise reverberating into my awareness. I have learned the art of discerning which thoughts are worth listening to, and this one seems worth following.

When I think of her, I see a child who believed life held endless possibilities and that nature was the greatest subject to study and explore. She imagined traveling to far-off places and trusted that life would be an adventure.

We can become tangled in the pressures and stress of the world around us until life simply happens to us. Lately, I have found myself reconnecting with my younger self through creating.

As I reflect on my life and where it stands now, I feel a kind of discontent. It is as if there is a tug-of-war taking place within me. I find myself drawn to the girl who dreamed of a life filled with nature, God, and adventure. At the same time, the pressures, stress, and expectations of adult life pull me in the opposite direction.

I am still trying to figure it all out.

Often when life becomes overwhelming, I close my eyes and picture myself at Jesus feet in nature. The path is quiet. There is no rush, no expectation. Just the steady reminder that I am loved and the quiet nearness of a relational God walking beside His daughter. This is where I long to be before expectations, accomplishments, and responsibilities whisper a different story of who I am.

I wonder how often we consciously or subconsciously make choices based on others’ expectations simply to maintain a “normal” life. I am realizing that God loves me as I am. My expectations and the expectations of others are not the scales that tip God’s affection or love for me.

What if normal is never what we wanted to begin with?

When we make it to the end of it all will normal really matter?